Author Betel Arnold learned through experience that dumping the toxic baggage that damages her writing process (competitive frenemies, a nasty inner critic) is just as important as a regular writing routine. Betel’s inspiring and inspiring spiritual self-help book, Buried Beneath the Words, is available now in English and Spanish.
Please welcome Betel to Write Despite.
The idea of writing never occurred to me until the day my five-year-old daughter showed me her drawing. “Look mommy,” she said. Purple buildings sat side by side on a hilly street. “Who lives there?” I blurted. She shrugged. As a way to keep her engaged I suggested we write a story about the people who lived in those buildings.
At the computer, I was surprised and a bit ashamed when I tried to control the story. My daughter who is easygoing gave me free reign. Eventually though, she got bored and wanted to stop, I didn’t. I typed until motherly duties called. About five years later, while browsing my documents, I came upon the story and my interest was piqued. Could I finish the story? Also, what is the fate of the characters I created? I had to know.
I joined a writing group. Here, I met people who were serious about writing—it was their life. I felt like a complete fake but I continued to attend. Also, something that happened to me in fifth grade gave me hope.
That year, all students attending P.S. 19, were required to submit a story for a contest. The winner’s story would go in the teacher’s handbook. I remember writing that story. Since, the possibility of winning never crossed my mind; I let myself go and wrote without care. I can’t explain the utter shock and disbelief I felt when my name was announced as the winner. I couldn’t believe it. But this experience is what kept me in my seat when I wanted to run out of that writing circle.
Since then, I’ve published, Buried Beneath the Words, I have co-authored, 13 Lucky Ways to Beat Clutterism Disease—due out in September, and the young adult novel I started years ago, Jordan City, is complete.
Along the way, I’ve learned a few things that I would like to share with you. Things that support my writing.
- I show up. I made a personal commitment—if writing was what I was going to do, then, I would show up. And I do. Everyday, I get up early, grab my cup of coffee and head upstairs to my office. I write a minimum of a thousand words a day. It doesn’t have to be good or perfect or for publishing. If something happens to interrupt my schedule, I go with the flow, but I make sure, that before my head hits the pillow, I’ve written those thousand words. The majority of the time, I exceed my goal.
- I do not criticize myself or my writing. For too long, I beat myself up and felt like a fake. I compared my writing to those who had been writing all their lives and came up short. I no longer do that. Everyone’s journey is their own. I stay in my lane. If I am struggling with a scene and I become frustrated, I stop. I go for a walk, a bike ride, or I take a shower. These activities work for me. They bring clarity.
- I take care of myself physically and emotionally. I eat well, I go to bed early, and I exercise at least four times a week. I take myself on dates—I enjoy my company. I recently went on a writing retreat to a house atop a mountain all by myself. The peace I experienced is indescribable. In taking care of myself, I analyze my relationships. Toxic friends destroy peace of mind. I no longer ignore the stress certain friendships can cause; for the sake of my writing and my peace of mind, I am prayerful about my relationships.
Today, I view writing as my friend, as a great teacher. The changes I made in my life because of it are priceless. I am so glad—“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” — George Eliot